once
All i see is flames all around me when I jump out I get knocked out I wake up and cry for my mum and dad I look beside me and see a boy he said”go to sleep it will be a big day tomorrow we will find your mum and dad”. I go to sleep when I wake up I say”I need to pee and I want breakfast” he let me do a pee and have some water and bread he goes to see what the noise is a machine gun is pointed at me so scary...
Hi Elijah,
ReplyDeleteI have never read this book - what did you think about it? Did you know you have two exact same posts? Can you see where to delete one? Keep up the great sharing.
Miss Blair :)
Elijah, thanks for sharing . We will do some editing around perspectives of characters and sharing each of the three viewpoints.
ReplyDeleteHi Elijah,
ReplyDeletenice writing, you have put great discription in your writing and you are a intelligent person you are a great writer
From:
Naua
Oamaru Intermediate school.
Hi Elijah
ReplyDeleteThis 100 word challenge is great, I like when you describe where the person is and it is in first person view. But said "all i see." when the I is suppose to be a capital I and you need to put more punctuation in there.
Hi Elijah
ReplyDeletelike your story it is good
Blake
Year 6
Drummond school
Top In The Morning To Ya,
ReplyDeleteHello I am Joshua and think you did a great job on this poem.
What will be your next step to this poem of yours.
What is the girl's name?
Joshua
Room 4
Drummond school
Hi Elijah
ReplyDeleteThis makes me want to read the book I like how its a we bit funny and a wee bit scary.
Hi Elijah, My name is Abby and I go to Yaldhurst Model School. Your blog post looks really cool and I thought it was a little funny and scary so now I want to read it.
ReplyDelete