On the 31/7/17 room4 had to write a memoir poetry about a book we read and I read the book once -
In my memoir poem I needed to add adjectives, nouns and verbs to describe the scene and sitution the character was in. Here is mine. What do you think?
The orphanage was filled enough.
It had lots of homeless kids , uneventful food and dirty water.
There was a big cafeteria, it is filled with soup and lots of bed,s standing still.
There was a small riot starting there was a big kid’s head being pushed in toilet and horrednous nazis searching ….
Im horrendously Sad, scared, bored
Doing everything important , to save some souls..
Hi Elijah
ReplyDeleteI like the way you added a strong description at the top of your post so we know clearly what you were posting about. I think I would like to ready this book
Hi Elijah
ReplyDeletecool memoir poem I like how you put yourself in the characters shoes.
Cormac
Yr 6
Drummond Primary school
Hello Elijah,
ReplyDeletethat memoir poem was really moving, I can clearly describe the place it took place(cramped, dirty, unhealthy, ect.).
Also, I think you should learn more about grammer for better writing.
From Jacob M,
at Yaldhurst School.
Hi Elijah
ReplyDeleteGreat Memoir Poem. What book are you reading and what do you rate it 1-5? You really d make it clear that you were in the characters shoes and where you were. Great job.
Khali
Yr 6
Drummond School
top of the morning you
ReplyDeletei really like your description
carlyn
room 4
drummond